You Could Do Better Than Me
by Hannah Rubix
Summary: He didn't deserve her. She needed someone who wouldn't hurt her every day. She needed someone who wouldn't make tears of hurt shine in her eyes continuously like he had.


My first song fic ever! I had to write this, I needed their reconciliation. Rate and Review please

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or anything involved. I do not own Hinder or any of their songs

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He had heard she was back, but not from her like he wanted. He heard from Marco, from Jimmy, from Manny, and from Emma, all of them knew she was back. All of them had seen her and had heard about her amazing summer. He wanted her to waltz into the Dot like she used to, just to come and see him. Not for the amazing coffee, or the hunger arousing food, but to see and talk to him. She used to come in here wearing her shining hair down just how he liked it, and she would talk to him while he worked, making him smile and laugh. She made fun of some of his worse customers; she even talked to Marco when he came in. The two were never close like he had hoped they would be, but they talked and they seemed to like each other. She had a place in his heart, a place that was hollow, cold, and empty without her. He wondered if she still loved him like she used to, if she still replayed every one of their dates and talks in her head like he did. He knew it was borderline creepy, but he wanted to relive those moments. 

_I think you can do much better than me  
After all the lies that I made you believe  
Guilt kicks in and I start to see  
The edge of the bed  
Where your nightgown used to be  
I told myself I won't miss you  
But I remember  
What it feels like beside you_

She made him feel worthwhile, special. But that's not why he loved her. He loved her because she was…well, she was herself. He loved her because of the way she bit her lip when she was nervous, because of the way she smiled even though she was scared. He loved the way she squeezed his hand when there was something important going on, and how she always put him before her. He even loved her because of the way she pouted when she was jealous, and even the way she got fired up when she was angry. There was nothing he couldn't like about her, she was the type of girl who turned your life around without even meaning to. She trusted him and forgave him during his darkest and worst times, except for now. He screwed up big this time, and he ruined the one reason for him to live.

_I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me_

She was there for him, she apologized for being to hard on him and she wanted him to take him back. Imagine her apologizing to him! He took her back instantly, he felt like nothing was worthwhile without her. So he went to tell Paige that he couldn't kiss her again, he couldn't be with her. But temptation came in the form of the busty blond and they slept together. She should've never found out, everything should've gone back to normal. If only he hadn't told her he was texting someone so she could get a going away gift, if only he hadn't left his cellphone sitting on the chair. If only she hadn't been curious and read his texts. The expression on her face was heartbreaking when he came back; it made him feel like the lowest of scum.

_While looking through your old box of notes  
I found those pictures I took  
That you were looking for  
If there's one memory I don't want to lose  
That time at the mall  
You and me in the dressing room  
I told myself I won't miss you  
But I remember  
What it feels like beside you_

She was so beautiful; she was too beautiful, yet strangely delicate. What he wouldn't give to have her sitting on the stool and telling him all about Bible camp while he wiped glasses. What he wouldn't do to hold her, even for a moment, in his arms again. Every time he shut his eyes, he saw that look of complete and utter betrayal, of hurt and knowing and agony so huge he scarcely imagine how she was able to hold all of it inside. He saw the tears glistening in her sweet brown eyes, and he wanted to wipe them away. He wanted to hurt himself for every hurting her, for ever causing her that much pain. Even now he had her ring in his pocket, waiting, hoping for a chance to put it back on her finger. She could have done so much better than him; she deserved someone who didn't lie his way into her heart, who didn't cheat on her with an old flame. She deserved someone as good as she was, and he didn't even know if that were possible. Every time the bell at the door rang, signifying someone coming in, he strained his neck to see if it was her. But it never was.

_I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me_

It was undeniable; she wasn't coming back for him. She wasn't going to come in here and take him back, tell him she's take him back and forgive him as she had numerous times. He had screwed up so many times he lost track. All he could do was relive their moments in his head. One of his favorite times was the time in the dressing room, when she showed him her bikini and he kissed her like there was no other girl in the world. Another good time was at the movie theater, when he had bought them a huge bag of popcorn and had eaten all of it himself. When he came back with another bag, this time swearing to share, she threw some of it at him and they had a popcorn fight. That resulted in them getting kicked out of the theater, but it had been fun. After, they had gone to the beach and watched the small lake as the sun set. That was one of the first times he told her he loved her, and that night was one of his favorites. He walked outside, car keys in hand and heart sinking. Another day without her smiling face. Every day it hurt a little more, not being with her. "Crap," he muttered, noticing something small and white on the windshield of his car. At first he thought it was a parking ticket, but he realized it was a bit bigger, and written in elegant script.

**Spinner,**

**I shouldn't be writing this. If there's one thing I know, it's the right thing to do. But I can't not write to you, I can't not talk to you. But it's hard to tell you something in a note. I can't. Manny, Emma, Chante, and even Kim say I shouldn't be talking to you. They all think I've been way too forgiving in the past, that every time you screw up I'm here waiting, and that I don't have a backbone. Maybe I don't, I don't know. It's just hard, being alone without you around. I guess I got used to you. But this isn't any way to tell you what I've been feeling or thinking. Spin, meet me at our bench at 9: 30. I'll be there, waiting for you. But only come if you want to talk, you don't have to come.**

**Sincerely,**

**Darcy E.**

It was written on a thick white sheet of paper that had been cut so it fit in a tiny envelope; Spinner stared at the note, hardly daring to believe this was for him. But there was no other Spinner, and there was no other Darcy E. he knew. He shook his head and got into his car, but swore when he saw the time. It was 9: 25 and it was a ten minute drive. He sped to the bench outside of Degrassi and ran out of the car as he saw a slim figure getting off the bench. It was Darcy; he could see the copper highlights in her chestnut hair. He could also see tears sparkling in her eyes and she wiped a stray one off her cheek. "Darcy! Wait," he called jogging over to the bench she had just gotten off of. She jumped, spooked, and squinted. "You came." He nodded, panting from the run from his car.

_The bed I'm lying in is getting colder  
Wish I never would've said it's over  
And I can't pretend... I won't think about you when I'm older  
Cause we never really had our closure  
This can't be the end_

"Yeah, I only got the note ten minutes ago," he replied. "Oh, I forgot about your hours." She sounded hollow, broken and upset. He craved to hold her and to comfort her, tell her that Paige meant nothing to him. "I was surprised when you said you wanted to see me," he admitted. "So was I." She sat back down weakly, and looked up at him. "Why did you do it?" she whispered. "Was I not enough for you, did I just mean that little? I thought you understood my abstinence more than anyone, you took the vow too." All he could do was nod weakly until his turn came. "Darcy, it wasn't like that. I thought we were over, that I lost you forever. When you came back I was happy. I want to break things off with Paige, but she told me she never blamed me for everything. I was confused, and I made a mistake."

_I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me_

She looked at him disbelievingly and laughed quietly, bitterly. "Spinner, she played you. And I know you went to talk to her about getting back together before you found me, so don't lie. She only said that so she could get in your pants. You should know better than anyone about Paige Michalchuk. You were so blinded by lust that you fell for her lies; you didn't remember all that she did to you after you came back to Degrassi." He felt horrible, he really did. What made it all worse is that every thing she said was true, every bit of it. "Darcy," he began. "The only reason I wanted to get back together with her was because I was caught up in my old glory, reliving my old life. I went back to you after and realized _I love you._ Not Paige Michalchuk, not Manny Santos. You, Darcy Edwards. No one else. I thought I could be the good guy again if I pretended to want to be with her. All I realized that I became the worst guy."

I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me

After those words, she put her head on his chest and pressed her lips together to keep from crying. "I just want to love you." He stroked her hair, putting his arm around her. "I love you Darcy, and I could only hope you still feel the same way about me." Tears escaped from her deep eyes. "Spinner, you know I love you. And I forgive you. Again. Let's just…not talk," she whispered half heartedly. He nodded, but there was something he had to do first. He slipped something out of his pocket and took it in his hand. "This needs to go back were it belongs." He slid the promise ring back onto her finger, putting it in its rightful place. They sat there for ages, quiet and deep in their own thoughts. "I want to be with you again," she murmured, playing with his hair. "Me too Darcy, and I promise I'll never hurt you again. I'll be better for you."


End file.
